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As we take a look a deeper look into how to help hurting women, there are a few things we need to keep in mind. 1) We cannot fix, heal, or save anyone - only God can do that. 2) Everyone's wound is different, which means the way we address a hurt will look different. 3) Be careful with any advice you give another hurting woman. Make sure you are not speaking from your own perspective and wounded place. With that said, I pray you find the following tips helpful when ministering to that special person with a wounded heart. 

Listen 

 

One of the greatest gifts we can give another hurting woman is a listening ear. We need to listen by tuning our hearts and ears to one another. "Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other." (Col 3:15 Message)

 

  • Listen with intent to hear the heart. 

  • Listen without an agenda to fix.

  • Listen and allow the Spirit of the Lord to work (sometimes we don't need to say anything, we just need to give a hug.) 

Empathize

 

Women who have a difficult time empathizing might say things like, "Get over it! I don't know what you are whining about! That's nothing compared to what some women go through! It's no big deal so pull yourself together!"  

Sadly, we miss the mark. Though we may not be able to relate to everything a woman goes through, we do have one connection that binds us together - The Wound. I've never met a woman who hasn't been wounded in some way. We can empathize when we focus on how much our own wounds hurt.  

 

​Women who have a difficult time empathizing may end up turning away from their friends, either because the wound is too close to their own, or because they lack compassion.

 

  • The Bible says we are to be "humble and gentle."

  • We are to be "patient with one another."

  • We are to bear with each other in love. (Ephes. 4:2)

Speak Truth

 

Women often give advice based on their own experiences. If God brought you through a growing spiritual experience, then by all means - share. However, women can get caught up in the emotion of the situation and speak from unhealthy places. 

Anytime we speak into another person's life, we must make sure we are speaking from a healthy place and not out of our own suffering, bitterness, or pain. A good place to start is in God's Word. Remember that the enemy can use scripture to distort and skew a person's view. Try using scripture to build up, and refute what Satan tries to tear down and destroy. 

 

For example: If your friend is struggling with self-esteem and Satan tells her she is worthless and no one loves her, replace that lie with a truth by reminding her that God's word says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful." Psalm 139

 

  • Replace a lie with God's truth and promises.

  • Encourage by using Christ's example. 

  • Be careful in the way you use scripture. Make sure it is not judgmental, but restorative - full of love and compassion.

How to Help a Wounded Woman

Point Her in the Right Direction

 

Sometimes we come across women who need more help than we can give. 
It's okay to point them toward a person who can provide spiritual and biblical counsel. Women tend to do nothing rather than something when they have no idea what to do. Because we sometimes have no idea how to talk to a wounded woman, we distance ourselves from them rather than try to point them to someone who knows what to do.  

 

We may not always know what to say but we can help by thinking through a few things: 

 

  • Help set up/or go with someone to see a pastor

  • Help set up/or go with someone to see a counselor (Christian counselors can help with the spiritual side of things and often speak from a biblical perspective.)

  • Take them to Celebrate Recovery, support groups, or encourage them to sign up for a twelve step program. 

  • Encourage and spur her on. Instill God's strength in her. 

Don't Turn Away

 

One of the most painful moments I've ever experienced in the midst of my wounds, was looking at the backside of those who I thought were my friends. Women who prayed with me, walked with me, and shared with me, turned their backs on me because they had no idea how to handle my wounded situation. 

 

For example - I can't tell you how many women I've spoken with who, after divorcing, said. "My friends just stopped talking with me."  They had no idea how to respond and felt uncomfortable. 

 

  • In speechless moments - embrace. 

  • Don't turn away from someone you call a friend. True friends stand beside and walk with.

  • We don't always agree, but can speak the truth in love.

  • If your friend is living in sin - don't abandon. Pray and point her toward Christ. 

Pray

 

Last, but not least, PRAY.  

 

One of the most powerful tools in ministering to a wounded woman is praying with her and over her. Get on your knees ladies! Let us lift our fellow girls up in prayer. Join hands! It's time to grab hold of a wounded soul and pray healing into her life. Through Christ's intervention prayer has the power to change lives. 

 

  • Pray for peace and a settling of the heart. 

  • Ask God to mend her wounded body. 

  • Ask God to restore her broken life.

  • Pray against the enemy's schemes and that God would snatch her back.

  • Pray for healing and a covering of peace. 

  • Pray that others would come alongside her to encourage and walk with her. 

  • Prayhr eyes be opened to God's truth and guidance. 

  • Pray for relief and complete surrender to God.